Storytelling Saturday #10: “Miso Mad”
Welcome back to Storytelling Saturday, where I share stories about my experiences as an international student and immigrant. Miso Latte with Oat Milk, please.
At work one day, I received a company-wide email from the head. It said, “This week, we lost one of our valuable colleagues because of racism. If you’d like to report or talk about racism that you experience, please talk to me directly.”
The message of the talk of the town for the next several weeks. Many were speculating who he was talking about and what had happened. Many were also confused as to how the events happened in the first place. “I have never seen any of our colleagues being racy or rude,” many said. Some, I suppose inevidently, privately asked me if “everything was okay” with me. It was funny how people could pinpoint the recipient of potential harm, but not the culprit that would cause the harm. I am sure that they didn’t think it could be them.
It is true that there hasn’t been malicious racism in this workplace. People here are really lovely and they are very aware of the biases they could have. Yet, it slips out. I didn’t know how to prepare for someone assuming that my oat latte would be miso soup. A British colleague, upon seeing another British colleague come into the meeting room where he was sitting among international staff, yelled, “Finally, someone who could speak English!” Or, upon when seeing Chinese calligraphy, turning to me to ask what it says. These encounters are like a minefield; I don’t know when the next one will come until I’ve already stepped on one.
I’ve never shared these moments with my colleagues, nor with the head. Partially because the very head who sent the email was also a culprit. But mostly because I didn’t know how to define its wrongdoing. None of these comments was wrong in the eyes of legal protection. Then how do I report, or prosecute, a heartbreak?
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